Suggestions for Protecting Your Mind While Doing Comedy - Ep #22

Ten suggestions to help you protect yourself while doing comedy and participating in our communities. YOU deserve compassion & respect no matter where you are with mental health or your neurotype.

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Transcript: stereoforest.com/captivate-podcast/suggestions-for-protecting-your-mind-while-doing-comedy-ep-22

This article provides general suggestions to comedians, especially neurodivergent ones, to protect their minds while engaging in comedy and with others in the community.

This article is unlocked for the community! Please consider subscribing for future resources and episodes, and sharing this article with your comedy friends who might benefit from the resource.

I suspect a lot of the suggestions will apply to non-comedy spaces as well, because I am drawing from my experience and observations in a variety of comedy and non-comedy communities I have been in.

These suggestions are not always a commentary on my personal experience. Don’t read into anything. I'm sharing some stuff I've heard about and experienced in completely different crafts, and professional spaces as well.

But they are all related to comedy. For example, special shout out to those of us existing as non-cishet-white-men in tech. Lots of parallels there to improv, that's for sure!

But to be clear, no hate for cishet-white-men (some of whom have been the most supportive to me of any demographic when hard shit happens!), just that our communities generally need more diversity of voices in comedy (and all improv), and actual meaninful support for those voices doing the work (not just saying you do that thing).

So I’m not angry, not at all. Make-em-ups isn’t worth the stress and hit on my health to hold that anger, so I don’t.

But we still need more voices, and more support. So I’m writing some suggestions about protecting ourselves in this space, so we - we, the “others” - can have more of a (much deserved and necessary) voice in comedy.

So this is me observing, listening, sharing what I’ve learned, trying to take care of myself, avoiding viral infections, and spending time with these two (below).

Can’t be angry with kittens as cute as Shortstack and Dr. Crepes!

About the forthcoming suggestions

I think it’s important to make the kinds of observations, and just check in on yourself from time to time. I’m doing this regularly myself, and I think it helps — so I thought I’d share. I mean, why not.

Checking in on yourself in whatever spaces you’re participating in, I think, is good for mental health. And most days mine is pretty crap so it’s important that the things we love, the things we are supposed to be helped by, don’t contribute to messing up your mental health.

And if it does, do whatever you can to pivot outta that space.

Some important notes:

1. Some of these suggestions might contradict themselves. Or they might leave out some important points. This is confusing stuff, highly personal/unique, and in this case of course limited to one person’s experience and brain wiring! I heartily welcome you to add your own observations in the comments (anonymously from a throwaway account is fine, too!)

2. Some of these suggestions might sound like I’m suggesting to “run away” from issues — but I am NOT advocating this and NOT suggesting we avoid addressing problems in comedy. Quite the opposite. These suggestions involve sticking within your community, but empowering yourself whilst doing so by forming new projects, outlets, or similar (as an option, or while addressing problematic stuff if it’s applicable). And as always: any suggestions are not universal!

3. All ten sections below are SUGGESTIONS (from an autistic brain) even though many are not worded as such. These are worded like demands, because it’s what I ask of myself, what I use to check in. But they aren’t demands for YOU.

4. Take a suggestion if you think it's helpful and applies to you. Ignore it if it doesn't apply to you.

5. And as always, don’t replace this article or site for working with a professional. Also don’t use these resources for diagnosis of yourself or others. I’m not a mental health professional.

You deserve compassion and respect no matter where you are with either your mental health or your neurotype.

So here are Ten Suggestions for Taking Care of Yourself in Comedy.

Suggestion 1: Be Yourself and Don't Compromise on It

Accept yourself. Be true to yourself. Be honest with yourself. Can you do comedy without having to change yourself much, or at all, just to fit in and feel accepted?

If something doesn’t feel right or good about the type of comedy you are practicing, or you need to be someone else to be accepted, respected, and participate, see if you can do something else somewhere else in your practice. Or some other type of comedy. Or maybe something comedy adjacent. Or another creative pursuit entirely.

I'm giving you permission.

It’s okay to leave or step away from a class, a team, a performance, a community or theater, or even a whole art form if it’s not working for you, respecting, or accepting you as YOU. More on that shortly.

But you can step away at any time if the activity is not bringing you at least some sense of positivity for whatever reason you started doing it in the first place (or discovered along the way).

Doing that activity, such as improv or stand-up or podcasting, should bring value to your life. We have limited days, a very finite time here on earth -- don’t spend that time on what’s usually (or mostly) a hobby that costs you money, time, and sometimes even hard labour that is maybe bringing you pain?! JUST… WHY.

There are many other hobbies we can try instead that are actually beneficial and relaxing. Heck, even if it isn't a hobby for you it should at least benefit you in some way.

Find your space. Prioritize “the good”.

If you are neurodivergent, this might mean finding a space, a team, a task, or type of comedy that is safe enough to unmask and be yourself. You are supposed to ENJOY comedy, not be abused or exploited by it if you don't bend yourself to the point of almost breaking.

And like I mentioned before, you can ALWAYS leave a class, a team, a show, ask for a refund, avoid an unsupportive organization, and so on. You can do these things to support other comedians, too. You don’t need to stay in the environment and suffer. Vote for what you want to see with your wallet or time. I’m sure I’ll type this again.

This isn’t running away, or not confronting a problem. That’s good too, if you are willing and able to do so (hopefully with the support of others in that space). More about this specifically in Suggestion 7, and touched upon in several other suggestions.

Prioritize beneficial people, activities, and spaces in your life that support YOU as YOU. Advocate if you can, or try to find an activity or space that does - or form the coaching group, writers room, class, or team yourself. It might be easier than you think.

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Suggestion 2: Take Care of Yourself First (For Others!)

You should do comedy for YOU, first. Even though comedy can be a team or group activity, it's important to take care of yourself first. This isn’t selfish.

Taking care of yourself IS doing improv for others. It benefits your team, your community, and your creativity too. If you don't enjoy doing what you are doing in the moment, you might be doing it for validation from others or validation from the art form itself (more on this in Suggestion 9).

And that might never make you happy. And not being happy means you might not be showing up as your best for others, either (but most importantly, your own brain).

It's okay (and good!) to:

• do your own project.

• direct or produce your own show.

• create your own practice groups, writers rooms, or classes.

• set up rotating and/or defined roles on a team or project.

You do not need to do these things to be “successful”:

• follow the ideology or system.

• try to climb and impress the social ranks.

• be in that popular show, or sit at the cool table after a set.

• own something or create something others think is neat.

• be someone or something you’re not.

Help out others, or be in a project without roles, be in someone else’s thing (it’s fun!)… but it's also okay to do your own shit, or organize teams in a unique or new-to-you way. However, and whatever, works best for everyone. And that includes you. Be creative!

If you're doing the work, it's not selfish to have an ask, have your own project you manage how you want to, or direct the team’s show (if everyone’s on board). If you're doing the work, you can own or manage that work so the labour has the best chance at success.

Just make sure to communicate clearly and discuss - if others are involved - so everyone is on the same page (and agree, adjust, opt out/move on, etc). And if it’s your own project, keep an open mind and try ideas that will work with your vision - it can make that vision even better!

Supporting yourself is supporting others and/or the team. Supporting yourself is supporting the scene and the set. I think this is part of a great way, of many ways, to help create a healthier comedy community.

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Suggestion 3: Find your joy source, but be open to pivots

Find what you like to do in comedy. What practice, format or style works for your brain. Think about how you prefer to think and communicate, what type of comedy lets you be honest with and show up as YOU.

The right “comedy” for you might not be the first type you try. Or maybe the right thing for you is outside of comedy entirely. Drama? Animation? Writing? Voice work? Dog walking? Naps?

Go to find your humans. What meshes with your brain and makes it flow. Go where the people GET you. These creative skills are pretty transferable, so don't be afraid to try something out and see how the skills apply to that new thing.

Trying new things

I know it's HARD to try something different. It's hard to start something new, or leave a community - even partially, or temporarily. But finding something better and more aligned to your values can be worth it. And you can always go back, fully or partially, often with a fresh perspective and more skills.

I came to improv from dance fitness teaching and community theater. There’s tons of overlap with improv in these communities, learning, and performance. I'd go back to it in a heartbeat, if I could, actually. But the point is: making the pivot wasn't quite as hard as I thought it would be. In fact, when I started improv I didn’t observe the skill overlap for at least a year. And when I did, the skills suddenly transferred and it felt great.

So search to find that joy, and hold on when you find it. And if one day it seems to disappear — assess. Pivot. Get out of there, even if it’s just for a while to find yourself and take a breath. You don't need to keep doing the joyless thing. And you can always return later to try again.

This is so important for me. Re-evaluate often and don't be afraid to make changes if you need to for your health or to find or reignite a passion.

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Suggestion 4: Find the humans who value YOU (and ones who don't compete with your passion)

We often don't feel accepted as autistic humans, for example. It’s important to find the people who value YOU, for you, as you.

• Not ones who only value you for your talents.

• Not ones who only value you for what you can maybe do for them.

• Not ones who only value you for your work ethic or output.

The ones who value just you for YOU, the human.

Those who accept you are often humans who share your values in and understanding of the community - probably in a social sense.

This was abundantly true for me in the dance fitness instructor community. We vastly differed on WHY we were doing the activity. Find people who share your why. And keep your circles open when you spot other humans who share similar values.

Yes, but…

I'm no expert on this though. I'm often on the outside looking in, or on the fringe edge of multiple spaces always hoping deep down to be accepted into the circle. I think it's the autistic experience for many of us!

I don't pity nor want any pity by the way. I think it’s quite comforting, and beneficial, to at least be aware of this. Because if you aren’t, it’s easy to “make yourself useful” to try and get accepted - and that’s a fast path to being exploited (see Suggestion 6 for more).

Just don’t compete

Your passion isn’t competition. In performance and creative spaces, sometimes just sharing your joy for comedy is seen as something to be jealous of or compete with.

I'm asking: if you see someone innocently sharing their passion for their work… let them talk a bit about it! It’s not necessarily bragging, showing off, or something to be jealous of!

That project or set could be a difficult, hard-won accomplishment… and maybe they were waiting all week to have the topic brought up so they could share a little about how hard they worked, what they did, or what they learned along the way. Maybe you’re the only person they can “talk shop” with.

Check egos at the door, on both sides of this kind of conversation! But mostly - try to keep in mind someone else’s joy in comedy and accomplishment is not your competition. And your wins aren’t for them to mentally compete with. Life can so much easier with this mindset, anyway, I think.

Find your humans who don't compete with your joy, value you for who you are as a human, and everyone: cheer on your friends’ hard wins!

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Suggestion 5: Ignore the gatekeepers and find your confidence

The ladder isn't real, unless you want to believe in the ladder. This is an art, there are so many ways to do it, and there isn't a set criteria on how to get there, how long it takes, or what way you need to do it.

And, gasp, you don't need to be a cishet white man to climb it or seek proper compensation. Actually, you don't need to climb it at all. You don't have to believe in the ladder.

Sure there is knowledge, expertise, and experience that is absolutely respect-worthy. But it's also about YOU the human. In all your atypical glory. With all your prior acquired skill sets, your unique voice, experiences and talents. They are very relevant in this space too, and you deserve to offer them too.

So you’re walking the walk

You are doing the work, and you found your people.

Remember that gatekeepers will gatekeep for mysterious reasons, sometimes even when they purport to be on the same team and value the same stuff as you. Pay gatekeepers no heed. They will always be there.

Stay true to yourself, honest to your craft, and march on that path you believe in. As long as damage isn’t being done, that atypical path you make for you is right for comedy and right for you. Keep your eyes and mind open with honesty and respect in your heart. But walk or strut that path with your head held high.

Confidence is hard

Finding confidence in the arts is remarkably hard, especially now. Especially when you might be alone (because marginalized, isolated, whatever). How do you even know you’re walking a walk?

But you deserve to be here and do comedy even if you haven't found where you want to be quite yet. Even if someone is jealous of your hard work, or someone else doesn't think you're doing comedy the typical "correct" way, or come up with some other reason you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing.

You still deserve to do comedy. You are always enough. And your voice is valuable, and matters.

There's no Comedy God, even if there's compelling educational branding and emotional tithes to pay.

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Suggestion 6: Protect your Value

I'm saying this from the standpoint of over a couple decades in corporate tech and online creative work as opposed to comedy. It's the same in that space as it often is in comedy, from what I've observed from the comedic sidelines (comparatively speaking).

Your value isn't tied to your experience level in comedy if you’re doing other work (such as stuff that supports the industry that brings in cash). You quite likely bring much more than your comedy skills to the table when working.

If money is exchanging hands, you are worth compensation for the task you’re doing, not based on your skill level in comedy or where you are in some imaginary social order.

Financial promises or anything else you might be shooting for (acceptance, respect, exposure, etc) are not likely to materialize down the road if you’re working for free today.

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Suggestion 7: Communicate openly and in good faith

Make sure you're acting in good faith. Check in with yourself. What's your motivation in whatever issue is happening? Be honest. Do you want more stage time, to correct an honest problem, get someone off the team you just don't vibe with, or improve the ethics of a community?

Even in the name of disability and inclusion it's very easy to forget people are from different backgrounds, different places on a spectrum, or just don’t have knowledge in something that is obvious to you.

Do we understand the motivation behind the trait, for example? Do we understand that person’s background, culture, education, upbringing, level of exposure to new social norms?

Listen and take necessary breaks

Have patience, educate and explain, LISTEN, and stay in good faith. It's very easy, and honestly quite understandable, for passion to get in the way of fairness. Performers are often a passionate lot. But we have to try and not let bad faith occur… and instead: listen hard and learn.

Listen without returning to previous assumptions. Listen to the explanation, and don’t ignore it to return to an original point, take, or belief.

Take the explanations you hear as good faith unless, and until, you have good reason to believe something is not in good faith. Ask questions, listen more.

Taking breaks to check in with yourself is good, too, and do fight for improving our communities!

Just make sure to keep conversations fair to everyone involved: maintain good faith conversations, and be honest at all times for a beneficial outcome.

Avoiding diagnoses and labels based on behaviors

Since this is a neurodivergent site, I think this is probably important to mention.

Be cautious of using labels or diagnoses when discussing these issues. People can be complicated. Internal motivations (such as what motivated the display of an external trait), among many other things, need to be considered before a formal diagnosis can be made by a medical professional.

For example, two people can seem to lack empathy as an external trait. Only one of those two humans may actually lack empathy although both seem to on the outside.

So determining where a trait is coming from isn’t our job - motivations are usually unknown to us, and any kind of diagnosis is not appropriate to ask about when holding community discussions.

For example, an external trait can be shared amongst several diagnoses in the diagnostic manual (DSM), even a batch of them can span more than one. But the internal motivators are one important criteria for figuring out what the diagnosis is. Among many other factors.

Or, a different case: neurodivergent humans are sometimes thought to be under the influence of alcohol when we are completely sober. Same external trait, completely different internal (invisible) cause.

And of course, punishing someone in the community for their diagnosis or crisis or something else - or forcing them to expose the cause - is not great either.

Let’s try to avoid these things, and be very careful about assuming any kind of root cause for an external behavior.

Focus on the results of an action, and what needs to change to make the spaces more beneficial to everyone.

But have the conversation

So be cautious about making assumptions about what might be seen as problematic behaviors without open and careful communication.

Again… HAVE THE CONVERSATION!

There is so much crap, abuse, and antiquated ways in comedy - amongst everything else - we really need to have these discussions to see growth.

• Let's TALK, LISTEN, and try to meet each other in and maintain good faith conversations.

• Check in with our personal motivations honestly and regularly.

• Communicate openly while focusing on ourselves and our own motivations.

If the discussion is shut down or avoided, you don’t have to stay in that environment. You don’t have to finish the series, stick with the theater or start your own to stay in comedy. There are a million avenues to take.

I hope community discussions start in good faith, maintain that honesty, and happen more often.

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Suggestion 8: Ask for or seek accommodations

Speak up and ask for accommodations and access needs in any way you feel comfortable when you need them. If you're not comfortable, ask for a different way to communicate that does make you comfortable. Maybe it's using an anonymous form, or messaging from an anonymous email address.

Seeking accommodations helps normalize it for your future self and others too.

Advocating for others

If you don’t need accommodations made, and/or you are in a place to suggest or make them a reality - do it! It’s wonderful for those of us with access needs to not have the labor of self-advocating to seek them.

This is a true ally: actually walking the walk WITH us, and for us.

For example, add a text area on your registration form to add access needs without being asked for this. Your improv friend has difficulty with a certain icebreaker, suggest a different one (without outing them, of course!). Some are as simple as that. Don’t wait to be asked, don’t leave all the advocacy to the marginalized - that’s the key thing.

Or even when things get more serious, like a problematic coach or teacher, speak up or support the discussion with the person experiencing the problem (as highlighted in the previous suggestion, #7).

Conflicting access needs

If you ask for something to be accommodated by an individual especially, see if that adjustment works for their needs too. Sometimes we might need to tackle the accommodation from both sides if that adjustment places stress on their end - you might have conflicting access needs.

But there are often ways to work within the bounds of both parties’ needs. Open a discussion and figure out something that works.

Of course conflicting access needs can be true in group environments as well, such as in classes or theaters. But if we're open to working together, oftentimes we can make some changes that benefit a greater number of humans over time.

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Suggestion 9: Analyze Where Value Comes From, Especially if Depressed

I am a dysthymic human. For me, that means mild to moderate depression since I was 12. Persistent depression is common for autistic humans, and depressed humans (neurodivergent or not) are also not uncommon in comedy.

So I'm giving this topic a suggestion all of its own.

Try to find value in the activity - doing comedy - while you’re doing it for the same of doing the thing. This is especially true (or so I’ve been told) if you experience dysthymia.

Don't try to find happiness in:

1. What others think of your comedy (how "good" you are at it).

2. What your comedy or comedy work provides others (proving your value to others).

3. The project itself being done well or to your liking (ie, I wrote the perfect pilot in a great font).

Find value or happiness in the process... during creation... what doing the activity brings to you. If you look to the external (the output, the project itself) for approval, yes! even the project/activity itself, it can potentially keep you in a depressed state.

Why? You're still looking to the external thing, like the improv set or your finished podcast episode, for joy. And that's not gonna help you out because it’s external.

Make sure you get value while you perform. While you take the class. While you socialize after the set. The act of doing comedy while you're spending your minutes and hours doing it should be beneficial to your life in some way.

If not? Don't be afraid to say no and pivot until you do find something that gives value to your life while you perform.

Me... I'm still working on this. It's hard. So fucking hard.

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Suggestion 10: Value your Mental Health

Value it like your life depends on it. Above all the other things.

Do whatever you need to keep your mental health as good as you possibly can. WHATEVER that is and means to you. We all know improv is not therapy, so we need to make sure we walk that walk and find help outside improv when we need it (or take that much-needed break).

Because things like autistic burnout are deadly. So is depression. And so is loneliness and isolation. And especially if you won the lottery of all of the above.

Couple that with improv stress and you might light the fuse to a powder keg. And that's no good. No one wants that!

If you experience any of those conditions, protect yourself whatever way you need. Whatever you do, whatever practice or art form or hobby, it's not worth taking YOU away.

That’s why I made these suggestions for myself.

Be your own advocate

Advocate for yourself as much as you do for others - because the others might not have your back when you need it most. “Just call a friend or family!” they say, and so many of us autistics give that response the life-long side-eye. Right?

Other humans are hard to rely on. So have your own back preemptively, if you can. You know yourself best. Try to take this shit into your own hands and own it. If you can.

And always remember: people who seem okay on the outside are sometimes not. Especially when we're doing comedy and acting and performing. And masking our autism.

We can sometimes be pretty good at covering this stuff up. Until we're not.

Check in on your friends though, if you got em. And let them check in on you.

So… take care of your mind my friend!

Try to take care of yourself (that beautiful neurodivergent mind of yours), and others. Support what you value in the community to keep it there for you, and others, for longer.

• Support those who value YOU over the system and being “seen”.

• Value YOURSELF, not the ladder.

• Stick with those who value YOU, not what you might be able to do for them.

You know? But what do I know. I’m just some random autistic who doesn’t understand social stuff or people. So take this all with an XL grain of salt.

I have no idea if my time of duress brought any clarity - maybe this list is a mess.

But I will end on that human note, actually. This list of suggestions was originally written on a dark day of mine in the middle of a 4 year autistic burnout and significant depression. After the dark, I sometimes have more clarity on the tough stuff. So I kept what I wrote, in case that was true this time around.

I’ll let you decide that part!

But I thought about these things a lot in the weeks that followed that day. I maybe even started to heal a bit?

And then, of course, another really major crisis unfolded. My biggest one yet, in all my years (which have contained some pretty big ones). It unfolded as I was sitting at what I thought was the bottom of the depression ravine.

And all this has happened whilst mostly alone, just after losing most of my special interest community of humans, work I loved, and activities — for a second time in 4 years. Thanks, ongoing pandemic.

Which is all to say how important it is to be proactive about this kind of mental stuff. Don't push protecting your brain to another day or week. Start taking care of yourself today, if you aren't. Just try. If you can.

Even if you do a little, it might help when the next big thing comes your way. I think my little bit of healing maybe… maybe… helped me in the early days of this crisis.

But like… don’t “do a crisis” to have clarity! Oh hell no. Of course not. But it’s good to analyze your situation when you can, in whatever state you’re in. Different states afford different perspectives. Use what you got.

That’s all

So there you go. I don't know how this episode and article will come off - relatable, complaining, full of misery, angry, too vulnerable, too this or that. But I do want to assure you I’m not angry, don’t want to complain, and would very much dislike any form of pity.

But at any rate, some of you won’t be happy or like this. And I’m okay with that… because I enjoyed working on it (!!) and I’m trying to refuse to define success or purpose from the project itself in my attempt at a bit of dysthymia recovery. Suggestion 9, baby!

But I should say, in transparency, this whole podcast is not my comfort zone by a mile. It is scary and ridiculously uncomfortable to be this vulnerable, even though it is a small niche podcast not heard by many. Even when I do the mundane ones.

But I'm gonna be honest with you, no matter what. Because honesty is the only thing that works here when we’re talking about improving our own minds, communities, and communication.

As a recently-past-middle-age autistic ADHD human with roving intense interests, I've been formally trained in and embedded in many communities on a fairly comprehensive scale. And from that I can say…

Comedy is wildly strange, and a beast of its own (despite giving retro-silicon-valley vibes). At least the tiny corner I've witnessed and participated in. Let’s keep our neurodivergent minds safer here.

Take care. And please share this with any friends in the community who might be interested in or benefit from this resource.

New pod name, Same kinda stuff

As of now, and as you may have noticed, the podcast has a new name, Neurodivergent Minds in Comedy. But the podcast, and the Neurodiversity in Improv site, covers the same kind of stuff - just with a slightly greater focus on neurodivergence, and a slightly wider lens to performance and writing in comedy.

The podcast on its own will have its own domain and site (NeurodivergentComedy.com), and the current site and bonus content will remain the same and continue to be focused on neurodiversity and improv.

Follow releases in the Neurodiversity in Improv newsletter, or the one on StereoForest.

Podcast and bonus materials schedule for this shift is pending a little at the time of writing.

Your Voice - Neurodiversity Survey

Please add your voice to this work! It’s better for the wider community when there is more input. Check out and fill out the most recent survey on keeping your mind safe in comedy. Thank you!

Let me know what you have experienced as a neurodivergent in comedy! Answer three questions here!

Previous surveys are available here - do any of them at any time!

Plugs

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• For FREE podcast and show updates, go to StereoForest.com. This is significantly delayed because of the personal crisis mentioned earlier in this article. But I’ll start releasing what I’ve made soon - I just want to do it properly and not rush things.

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About

This podcast and website was created by Jen deHaan — an autistic + ADHD improviser and performer.

This episode was produced by StereoForest.com. Join the FREE StereoForest newsletter for all podcast and show updates at stereoforest.com.

This podcast is released on Tuesdays, usually twice per month, at NeurodivergentComedy.com and wherever you find podcasts. Bonus resources to support this podcast are available via NeurodiversityImprov.com.

Transcript

Find transcripts for each episode, including this one, at NeurodivergentComedy.com.